Boardgame Movies - this is what cinema has come to

It's only recently come to my attention that they are making a movie, based on the board game battleship. I'll just let that sink in for a second for anyone else who this is also news to.

Battleship.

C6
Miss
A9
Miss

THAT battleship.


cinema GOLD!

Only in the movie version, the battleship is a 5 nation fleet and the guy on the other side of the board is ALIENS

bet you didn't see that coming did you.

Starring in this modern cinematic masterpiece, is Rhianna as a tough no nonsense stereotype, and sadly Liam Neeson as some Admiral. WTF Liam! You are better than this!

The scariest thing is this piece of shit has been given a budget of $200 million. Seriously, this is the kind of movie Uwe Boll would make - and it gets 200 mil.

I can only conclude from all of this, that Hollywood has FAR too much access to cocaine, and that they've run out of comic books to turn into movies.

If this is the kind of shit that can get a green light these days, then fuck it - i'm going into movies. I have spent literally minutes coming up with some ideas, and i think there is some potential here. Coked out hollywood money men, send your cash to me and lets do this thing.

Connect 4

It is a dystopian future, where mankind suffers under the tyrannical rule of sentient machines that only very vaguely resemble terminators. The key to bringing them down, is humanities greatest weapon... a massive EMP pulse bomb. However there is a hitch. To get the EMP bomb online - a series of 4 reactors must be brought online in sequence. Little do the human freedom fighters know, that the machines have their own ultimate weapon! a umm... flesh eating virus bomb. yeah that'll do. The machines need to complete their own chain of reactors to bring it online, triggering a deadly race between the two factions.

Starring: Lady GaGa as the robot queen and Chet Haze as the leader of the resistance.


Chet.FUCKING.Haze

Hungry Hungry Hippos
A team of elite Zoologists are on an expedition to Africa to explore a previously undiscovered section of jungle or bush or whatever they have in Africa. While they are studying the interesting new breeds of animal life, something awakens. Something old, something deadly, something.... hippo. Now this small team must fight for their survival against a pack of marauding creatures with an insatiable appetite for human flesh. Will they survive? or will they all fall victim to the... hungry hungry hippos

Starring Michelle Rodriguez, Ving Rhames and Chris Tucker

damn girl you gettin eaten by a Hippo!

Scrabble
Tom is a regular guy with a boring job and a boring life. Every morning, Tom does his word jumble on the train to work and it is unremarkable enough - until one day, something changes. Tom starts to find combination's of words that appear to form instructions. Curious, he follows the clues into a world of intrigue where his very life and the fate of all mankind will be at stake. Being stalked by mysterious figures and government agents, can he solve the puzzle before it is too late? Also he is an ex navy seal and there are some aliens.

Starring Bear Grylls as Tom


the word scramble is telling me to drink my own piss